As we celebrate International Women’s Day today, I reflect again on motherhood.
What school prepares you for motherhood?
For the questions that innocent, enquiring minds will ask…
For the advice you suddenly realize you must give…
For the moments when you have to stand by the sidelines and watch them sort things out themselves, even though every instinct in you wants to intervene?
None.
The song, ‘One day At A Time’ readily comes to mind at this time.
How do you help your child fit into a new school after they just joined?
How do you make other children include them in their games?
You just hope that you have taught them enough self confidence to eventually deal with these issues and move on.
We teach our children not to fight and to walk away when it appears someone is on their case. But sometimes, it makes sense for them not to walk away.
I’ll give you an example. Many years back…
I travelled with my children. At the airport there was a game for children to play.
My son was playing when another boy came along. Instead of asking politely for a turn, he simply hit my son!
I heard my son say angrily say, “What’s wrong with you?”
When I asked what had happened, my son explained calmly while the other boy just glared at him.
Of course, as the earth mother that I am 
, I told the two young men there was no need to quarrel but that they could all take turns to play. Thus, he would play once my son finished his turn. No change in his countenance and so I turned back to my book.
Next thing I know, he was trying to push my son off the chair and my son gave a push, right back. The young man fell to the floor.
I rushed to them and said all the right things. No you shouldn’t have pushed etc. But guess what, I was inwardly pleased my son gave back exactly what he got.
Before you judge me, let me explain
Life is full of bullies in the work place, school, neighborhood etc. I can’t fight all my children’s battles. There comes that time in their lives when they have to stand up for what they believe in and speak up for it.
It should not involve the use of fisticuffs but it should clearly show what their values are and advertise the fact that they will not compromise on those core values.
This is the same fear that parents have when their children are about to hit significant milestones.
Very first day at school – Nursery or Primary School
Entering the secondary school (especially if it’s boarding),
Going into the university (at which time the children who are not children anymore are told they are entering the big bad world).
Graduation – from nursery school or kindergarten, from primary school, secondary school or university
We worry about:
Whether they can fight life’s battles for themselves
Whether we’ve taught them enough to go forth into the world and do the right things.
We pray and hope that they don’t make too many mistakes and that they do not mix up with the wrong crowds.
But guess what, we’ve got to let them go.
Our role in those early years is to teach them the right values.
Spend time with them.
Answer their questions.
Check in.
Watch for warning signs.
Listen when they speak.
Most importantly, we need to commit them to God everyday knowing that, more than me, the mother, he loves them more and will look after them.
Consciously, I make the effort to let go and let God.
Happy International Women’s Day to all mothers!
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