chatwithketch

Q: Good day, Doctor. Is there something wrong with my wife? Since we got married with a child 3 years ago, my wife does not have appetite for sex – only a day after her monthly cycle she enjoy to have sex with me

A: Thanks for writing in. I can understand your worry as indeed sex is a critical aspect of marriage. The way you feel needs to be dealt with, so that it doesn’t become a bigger problem, later on.

Usually low sex drive could be due to stress, depression or even the physical challenges that come with having had a baby or even going through menopause. I’ll start with the most obvious question: have you tried talking with your wife about this? Perhaps you could try setting the mood – get a romantic dinner ready for two and then dress the part. Play some music, light some candles and send your children to spend the night with your parents 😀 Take the time to bond emotionally and connect with your wife on that deep level. With the emotional connection, the sexual connection will follow and that’s because women connect emotionally first before they connect sexually. Spending a little more time on fore-play may also be helpful.

Planning date nights with wifey is also a great way to bond. We all get busy with stuff…work, house work, children etc and so it’s so easy to get to that point where your discussion with wifey revolves around only practical, everyday things.

By the way, if you’ve got a television in your bedroom, take it out. Make your bedroom a haven for you and wifey. Don’t bring work in there. Let that be a place where you and wifey can reconnect after a long day. Make sure your children sleep in their rooms. There’s no greater downer than trying to ‘chillax’ with wifey and having your baby’s cries ruin the mood.

So make a conscious effort to cut out the clutter and bond with wifey.

If these don’t help, try having a chat with your doctor so he can counsel you and perhaps find out if there are other reasons like stress or depression responsible for this and treat accordingly.

I hope this helps 😀

Q: Please ma, I gave birth through operation six months ago; I would like to know the spacing to give before conceiving again. Thanks!

A: Interesting question! And a good one too! 😀 I smile because I had two babies in two consecutive years (2004 and 2005)! They are really a year and 9 months apart but it was kinda embarrassing when people pointed that I practically had them back to back 😀

Truth is, when you and hubby choose to have children is totally up to you but just like everything else in life, there are choices we make that may not be optimal in the long term. Having children at very close intervals (less than one and a half to two years) puts both mother and baby at risk.

For mum, she would not have had enough time to build back her stock of nutrients like iron and folate. Some studies also suggest that she’s also more likely to have placental problems like placenta previa or placenta abruption.

For more details on these placental problems, please click on these link:

https://chatwithdrketch.com/2014/06/29/daily-health-tips-placenta-previa/

https://chatwithdrketch.com/2015/03/09/daily-health-tips-can-placenta-previa-recur-in-my-pregnancy/

https://chatwithdrketch.com/2015/03/26/daily-health-tips-placental-abruption/

For baby, there are risks of being born premature or having a low birth weight when born.

In addition to these, the economic and emotional stress are issues to contend with. Having children is a lot more than bringing them to life, having two toddlers running around all day may very well take its toll 😀

Just as there are risks with babies born too close together, there are also risks for children born too far apart (greater than 5 years). Interestingly, they are the same risks of babies being born premature, having a low birth weight or small size for age of pregnancy. The mother is prone to high blood pressure.

Having said all of these, remember that these are guides. For women who started having their babies late (perhaps from 30 years), it’s difficult to stick with this dictum as they want to make the best use of the childbearing years they have left. And who can blame them 😀 Remember that if you do find yourself pregnant for another baby while breastfeeding another baby, continue breastfeeding except you have a history of premature babies, premature contractions or multiple pregnancy. Always check with your doctor.

So, in a nutshell, the optimal space between babies should be one and a half to two years and less than 5 years.

Have a great night y’all 😀

Yesterday was Global Hand washing day with the theme, ‘Clean Hands for All’. This day is devoted to the important work of advocating for the importance of washing hands with soap.
Do you know when to wash your hands? We should ensure that we teach children and indeed remind ourselves to wash hands after playing or doing stuff outside the house, before eating, after using the toilet, after playing with pets or disposing of their wastes (in fact children should not be encouraged to play too close to their kennels or sheds), before cooking and even after handling dirty laundry! The list is endless…but that’s also because the possible means of contaminating our hands are endless and the germs find easy routes into the body once we touch our hands, mouths, eyes etc. So we can’t be too careful…and just in case you wondered, ‘no, you don’t have to wear a face mask like dear Michael Jackson and/or gloves all the time’ to protect you from the many germs that exist! That might be…well, for want of a better word, perhaps just a teensy weensy bit extreme!
It may sound like we all know this and, ‘hey, who really needs to be reminded?!’ Trust me! people need this reminder. I’ll share my experience below.
I was in church on Sunday (a while ago)….unfortunately, not early enough to snag my favourite seat in the house. There’s really nothing special about the area I like to sit in…just that I like the aisle seat. As I got to church this Sunday, this seat had been occupied by a young lady.
As I sat down, I started to fan myself…all of that racing from the car park to the church was taking its toll! The young lady in question turns to me and informs me that she’s cold and so I was to stop fanning myself! And I looked at her like, ‘can’t you see what I am dealing with here?’ I answered with, ‘But I’m hot’. I however, proceeded to change the general direction of my blowing such that it wasn’t getting to the left (hopefully) where she was seated. So, all in all, it wasn’t a great start to a moment of renewing of minds and souls 😀
My pastor did a great job as usual, but during the service, I couldn’t help but notice same young lady repeatedly blow her nose into a ‘face towel’ which she was using as a handkerchief. She would transfer this towel from hand to hand. I did worry about that because at the end of service, we always shared this song as a church and we were all supposed to hold hands while singing it. I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get out of shaking ‘my friend’s’ hand without causing offence. I hoped that perhaps, she would decide to leave before the signature church song. Well, she didn’t 😀
I considered the options open to me 😉 Interestingly enough, preaching had been on divine healing. I wasn’t quite sure whether to tempt/test my faith by holding her hands or exercising wisdom by not doing so…after all, ‘…shall we continue in sin for grace to abound?’ Sin in this case being shaking a hand that I knew had a significant number of germs in them 😀
I decided to go the way of the ‘path of least resistance’. I moved away to another seat at the back of the church. I watched though to see whether ‘my friend’ would shake the hands of the people close to her. And guess what? She did! She shook hands with the guy next to her after nicely transferring her ‘handkerchief’ to another hand! I was in shock!
Now, I may have made this sound funny, but it really isn’t. Germs…all sorts are transmitted in this same way. In the light of the fact that Global hand washing Day was just celebrated, it is important that we remind ourselves of the hygiene rules of engagement for times that we need to be in public.
• If you have a cold, try and find somewhere close to the back of the church to stay. It’s important not to share your germs.
• After you have blown into your tissue (tissue is better as it can be disposed of after use, as opposed to handkerchiefs which are used repeatedly in a day becoming a rich culture medium of germs which can be easily passed on), keep your hands to yourself. If people want to shake your hands, you should politely explain that you have a cold. You will earn the respect of the people who asked for a handshake.
• Wash your hands as soon as you can…often too.
• Cough into the crook of your arms.
• At home, keep drinking cups and glasses separate.
For more on this, please click on this link:

https://chatwithdrketch.com/2015/08/08/having-a-cold-heres-your-survival-tool-kit/

‘ Could just 10 foods substantially impact your risk of dying from a cardiometabolic disease (CMD) like type 2 diabetes, heart disease, or stroke? Maybe.’

Read! https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/10-foods-that-may-impact-your-risk-of-dying-from-heart-disease-stroke-and-type-2-diabetes-2019100717965?

Q: Hello Dr., please help. My boyfriend has been having blisters and I think it’s genital herpes but he does not want to talk about it. what can I do to not get infected because we don’t use protection?

A: Hallos! Thanks for writing in.

The very first thing that I’m in a hurry to spill out is that you’ve got to use protection, otherwise you will get infected. There is no cure for this but if your boyfriend goes on medications, the chances of infecting you are greatly reduced. Genital herpes is a common sexually transmitted infection caused by the Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV) and the main way that the virus is spread is through sexual contact.

Another point to note on HSV….

Cold sores (also known as fever blisters) are also caused by HSV. They typically occur around the mouth or under the nose. The interesting thing about it is that after the initial infection, the virus can lie dormant in the body and then be reactivated several times a year. So, there may be recurrence in people who have had them when they have another infection like a respiratory tract infection, fever, injury to affected area, are emotionally upset, fatigued etc.

Fever blisters can cause pain in the mouth and the pain associated with this condition is worse when hot, spicy or acidic foods like lemon are taken. These sores are contagious but most times clear up without the need for medication within 7 to 10 days. Sometimes, antiviral drugs are administered. Local anesthetic drugs may help reduce the pain of the sores.

Cold sores in rare cases can also occur due to oral sex with someone who has genital herpes. This risk of contracting infections through oral sex is increased in the presence of already existing Sexually Transmitted Infections, mouth ulcers, bleeding gums and sores in the genital area.

This risk of infections through oral sex may be reduced by the use of barriers like condoms and avoiding ejaculation in the mouth. Use of pre-exposure drugs (prescribed for people at risk of HIV infection) and ensuring that anti-retroviral drugs (drugs used for the treatment of HIV) are being used correctly by partners who are HIV positive may also reduce risk of HIV infection through oral sex.

Generally for STIs, remember the ABCs. Abstain…which is always the best bet if you’re not married, be faithful to one partner (who is hopefully being faithful to you) or use condoms.

I hope this helps