#HLWDK Motherhood – Practicing Enough Tough Love?!


Another instalment in my ‘motherhood’ series. I must have written this at least 10 years ago, but it still resonates! Enjoy…


Do you remember the first time you smacked your child? Oh dear, I said the S word! Remember the absolutely gorgeous, toothless smile, giggling and always forgiving baby you brought back from the hospital? Yes that one. Remember the first time you had to raise a finger against him? It probably hurt you more than it did him. I am not advocating for mothers to beat up their children but then again, I am also not advocating for mothers to allow their kids to run wild without some discipline. If you look around these days, in shops, restaurants etc, you are overwhelmed by the sheer number of children throwing tantrums because they want some toy and they are not getting it. Mothers prefer to pick up after their children than teach them to do it…from the earliest age.


This same scenario has now been transferred from home to the schools. Teachers can no longer discipline their students for fear of the parents raising a row and worse of all…horror of all horrors withdraw their children from school. Children come late to school, talk back at their teachers and get away with murder because no one is willing to say and/or do what needs to be done.Remember those days when we were in school, if you dared come late to school, you would approach the gates with trepidation because you knew the headmaster was certainly going to make sure you were disciplined – stay back during break, cut grass (yes) etc If you were asked to go to the head master’s office, you shook with fear (except you were being called for some heroic or brilliant academic work that you had done) because appropriate punishment will be meted out.A friend told me the story of a child who did something really bad in school. The mother was called in for a meeting while the headteacher explained what had happened. Everyone expected some manner of outrage from the parent about what the child had done. Well, the mom listened patiently, nodding her head intermittently and then said, well, this child has done something bad and thus as punishment, I will ensure that this summer vacation, you will not travel 1st class but economy class. Really? You mean this child still gets to travel this year? You’ve got to be kidding me! I guess the stories of parents paying people to take exams for their children is now old…but still shocking.Another instalment in my ‘motherhood’ series. I must have written this at least 10 years ago, but it still resonates! Enjoy…headteacher explained what had happened. Everyone expected some manner of outrage from the parent about what the child had done. Well, the mom listened patiently, nodding her head intermittently and then said, well, this child has done something bad and thus as punishment, I will ensure that this summer vacation, you will not travel 1st class but economy class. Really? You mean this child still gets to travel this year? You’ve got to be kidding me! I guess the stories of parents paying people to take exams for their children are now old…but still shocking.

If we do not start practising tough love, then we may not be helping our children much, as we will be breeding the next generation of people who will put our nation into more trouble than we already are in.

But what do I know, I’m just an ordinary mother!

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