Looking through my hard drive today and came across some posts I had started writing in my early days of motherhood. I’ve never shared them here but they are very interesting 🙂

Today, I share with you one of the very first, about my thoughts on getting married and becoming a mother. What did you think about your own experience getting pregnant and delivering your baby? Were you one of those earth mothers – fully prepared and ready to go? Let me know how it went with you! Below, I share my own experience – I feel vulnerable reading the uncertainty and yes, the vulnerability in my words. If I could tell my young self anything, it would be, ‘don’t worry. You’ve got this! It will all be fine!’ Same thing I say to every other young mother…don’t worry. You’ll be fine.
Enough already 😀 Here’s the post…

I remember when I found out I was pregnant. It took weeks of ‘malaria-like’ illness, feeling nauseous etc for the message to finally sink in. When it finally did, I decided to just do a scan and confirm this and from that moment, I fell in love with this life I was carrying inside of me. I was in awe of what was expected of me…carry this baby to term and thereafter ensure that this child is presented as a well brought up child to society. I wasn’t even sure I was all grown up myself and yet I had to do all this (I was all of 27 years at the time).The year I had my first baby also started an important tradition in my life. That of spending my birthday getting ready for my daughter’s birthday. Our birthdays are 2 days apart.

The year I had her, I woke up on my birthday with the realization that my delivery bag was not fully packed and ready and then decided to go to the market on that day to complete the shopping for the event. The next day I was in the hospital and delivered early in the morning the following day.Remember those ambivalent feelings when the baby is first placed into your hands. The fear that you might mistakenly throw the baby down, the responsibility that this child was yours to mould, the awe that God could make this amazing creature come from you and the heart breaking love that you feel as you look into the eyes of this child that is your own flesh and blood. Nothing can quite describe that feeling. I could hardly sleep the first night for excitement!And then the baby starts to grow and you get used to what needs to be done: bathing the baby, the late-night cramps, the fever that comes with some immunizations, the whole teething palaver and then pre-school. At this time, you start to feel accomplished and on top of things. You hope and you pray that as they grow you will have more time to do things you used to love to do ( you actually believe this!). But for the moment, you are entirely thankful and grateful to God that you’ve got a tiny tot (born by you or adopted ) to call yours, to love and care for. This is one being, at least at that time, who loves you totally unconditionally. We can all do with some unconditional love here, can’t we?