Q: Hello sir, please I would like to know if there is anything like child selection. If yes, please I want to know when one can have a baby boy.

A: Thanks for asking this question which I get from time to time 😀 I repeat the details of a post I’d made in response to this in addition to that of my guest blogger.

The issue of gender (child) selection raises ethical concerns worldwide, as it is feared that it could lead to neglect of the ‘undesired’ gender. It used to be thought that sexual intercourse on certain days or using certain positions guaranteed one sex or another, but these methods are, pretty much, unreliable.

Some people who undergo invitro fertilization (IVF), may be offered a procedure called Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis. This involves screening your embryos for the preferred sex. This procedure is not routinely/indiscriminately offered and is actually banned in some countries except there is a medical reason for it. Did I also mention that it costs a small fortune?

In the African setting, a lot of emphasis is placed on the male child. I can appreciate that you may be going through a lot of pressure. However, I would want you to know that children are gifts from God, and sex selection is not determined by you or anyone else. The selection process is done by Him.

Scientifically, there are the X and Y chromosomes. Each individual has two sex chromosomes. XX in females and XY in males. During fertilization, one chromosome is derived from each parent. Usually the Y chromosome is derived from the male (because they alone have the Y chromosome) and the woman can only give the X chromosome (because she has just X chromosomes). If the Y chromosome is not donated or selected from the male during the fertilization process, then a female child is formed, on the other hand, if the Y chromosome is selected(from the male/father), then a male child is formed.

It’s not really the sex of the child that matters, but how you raise them and make them your pride at all times. The guest blogger who contributed to this post comes from a family of five girls and they have made their parents proud; with 3 medical doctors, an engineer and a psychology undergraduate. She retained her father’s name and added it to her husband’s name, just to ensure the name doesn’t ‘die’ as is believed in the absence of a male child. Actually, in Rwanda, women typically don’t change their maiden names to their husbands’. They maintain their maiden names and trust me, they do not take the institution of marriage lightly at all!

So, what are your options? Be thankful for whatever baby you get….male or female and give them all the love you have in you. The grass is always greener in the neighbour’s backyard and so we always yearn for that which we don’t have. Turn the tables around and be thankful for that which you do have. Remember that if you have boys, it’s only a matter of time before you have daughters…when your son(s) marry 😀 and vice versa

Have a great week ahead y’all 😀