Hallos people 😀 Brace yourself for a long read 😉
Q: Hello Dr Ketch, I was opportune to see you for the 1st time on Thursday last week on TV.I had just gotten back from the hospital where I lost my day old baby due to the carelessness of the nurses because they refused to follow Dr’s instructions. I decided to share my problem with you via inbox. Please help me out. I didn’t have prolonged labour because I put to bed almost immediately I arrived the hospital. When baby was about to come out, the midwife said he had pooped and so the water was contaminated. They took baby to clean him up because he was really crying. After then, she noticed blood and called for doctor to come. The bleeding became excessive due to cervical tear according to them. But they managed to get it back together. Now I am wondering if that tear can cause me not to get pregnant again or when pregnancy comes, because I know God cannot fail me. Will I be able to deliver normally? Also when will it be ok to resume sex because the thought of it scares me, even though I am lonely and want another baby soon (I have a daughter already but I need a son).Forgive me for sounding desperate but it’s bothering me because I had high hopes that I will stop after this boy. Thanks in anticipation!
A: My heart really goes out to you because of your loss. I cannot imagine what it feels like to hear the cry of your baby only to be told soon after that he/she is no more. I can only pray that God, (who alone knows how best to console us) grants you the grace to overcome this pain and look forward to the other blessings He is about to release into your life. I hope that you have loving and supportive family and friends around at this time to help you through this grief. Trust me, you will smile someday soon. My heart and my prayers are with you.
It sounds like what happened to you is precipitate labour. This is labour that lasts less than 3 hours and results in the rapid delivery of a baby. These babies, as a result, oftentimes don’t quite make it to the hospital before they are born and sometimes, if they do, the aseptic (thoroughly disinfected) conditions needed for delivery to occur may not be possible. So, one of the complications of this type of birth is infection…for obvious reasons.
Babies can ‘poop’ inside the amniotic fluid. The main complication of this is the fact that they can inhale this ‘poop’ called meconium from the liquor causing a major health scare in which the meconium inhaled, blocks the airway, preventing baby from breathing properly after birth. Perhaps this was what happened to your baby. I suggest you have a chat with your doctor to have a better explanation of what happened and thus have closure on this matter.
Cervical tears are usual with precipitate labour/delivery because the rapidly descending baby’s head does not give the mother’s tissues time to stretch to accommodate the baby’s head. With these tears, there is the possibility of massive bleeding and of course, infection from the oftentimes, less than sterile conditions at delivery.
It’s not abnormal to be ‘wary’ of sexual intercourse after an experience like yours. The main reason is because you feel very sore down there and the last thing you want is anything that aggravates that pain. There are no hard and fast rules. You can resume sexual relations once you feel up to it. It is usually a good idea to wait until after the 6 week period when your obstetrician gives you the all-clear.
How soon can you start trying for another baby? There are different schools of thought. Lots of studies have shown that there is nothing gained by waiting before trying again but World Health Organization suggests waiting at least six months before starting on that path. The latter advice may very well give your body time to heal before getting pregnant again. However, discuss this with your obstetrician who will be in the best position to advice
From the details above, there really should not be any problems with getting pregnant again or having the baby, normally. If your obstetrician feels that you need to have your cervix sutured (cervical cerclage) when you’re pregnant again, then that will also help prevent problems. Now, I assume that by ‘normally’ you mean vaginally and indeed, this is possible. However, in every situation, not just in yours, for every woman who goes into labour, there is always the possibility (no matter how remote) that the delivery could be through Caesarian Section (CS)…and there is nothing wrong with that. In Africa, we tend to always box ourselves into the corner of feeling that we are not ‘woman’ enough if we do not deliver ‘normally and as a result, we take unnecessary risks with our lives when we are advised to go for CS. Please remember, that the main outcome that we all pray for when a pregnant woman goes in for delivery is to have mother and baby, alive and well. So, let’s focus on the important things 😀
Finally, remember that you have no way of knowing whether you’re going to have a boy or girl (except you go for the hi-tech means of conception), so please don’t set yourself up for another heartbreak. Let’s focus on getting you better, physically and emotionally, and then take the rest one day at a time.
Please be sure that you are under the care of an obstetrician (who will examine you thoroughly and advice on way forward based on this) and remain strong. It is well with you 😀
Lots of love and hugs
Have a good night everyone and thanks for reading through it all 😀