Q: Good day, Doctor. Is there something wrong with my wife? Since we got married with a child 3 years ago, my wife does not have appetite for sex – only a day after her monthly cycle she enjoy to have sex with me
A: Thanks for writing in. I can understand your worry as indeed sex is a critical aspect of marriage. The way you feel needs to be dealt with, so that it doesn’t become a bigger problem, later on.
Usually low sex drive could be due to stress, depression or even the physical challenges that come with having had a baby or even going through menopause. I’ll start with the most obvious question: have you tried talking with your wife about this? Perhaps you could try setting the mood – get a romantic dinner ready for two and then dress the part. Play some music, light some candles and send your children to spend the night with your parents 😀 Take the time to bond emotionally and connect with your wife on that deep level. With the emotional connection, the sexual connection will follow and that’s because women connect emotionally first before they connect sexually. Spending a little more time on fore-play may also be helpful.
Planning date nights with wifey is also a great way to bond. We all get busy with stuff…work, house work, children etc and so it’s so easy to get to that point where your discussion with wifey revolves around only practical, everyday things.
By the way, if you’ve got a television in your bedroom, take it out. Make your bedroom a haven for you and wifey. Don’t bring work in there. Let that be a place where you and wifey can reconnect after a long day. Make sure your children sleep in their rooms. There’s no greater downer than trying to ‘chillax’ with wifey and having your baby’s cries ruin the mood.
So make a conscious effort to cut out the clutter and bond with wifey.
If these don’t help, try having a chat with your doctor so he can counsel you and perhaps find out if there are other reasons like stress or depression responsible for this and treat accordingly.
I hope this helps 😀