Q: Dear Dr, I always read your advices when advising people and it made me to grow from one level to the other. Can you please help our youth on the issue of masturbation and how dangerous it is, because I’ve a victim for 5 years whereby I masturbated 2-3 times a week sometimes four -six rounds a day. The problem is that I was not even enjoying sex then till I told myself and God that I must quit and indeed God helped me because now I’m single and no longer a prisoner of sexual desires. I can’t wait to hear words of advice to the victims of masturbation. Thanks in advance Mom
I’ve tried to avoid answering this question for a while; however, I’ve received so many questions on this that I believe it needs to be addressed. I trust that the expectation of the lovely person who posted this, is not for me to preach on the evils of masturbation. As I always say, I try not to pass judgment on this page…we have enough people who do that for us in all aspects of our lives. I will, as always, lay out the facts and hope that I have provided enough information for the right decisions to be taken.
First, thank you so much for sharing your story with us and telling us how you came through it. I’m excited that you were able to deal with your issue of masturbation and conquer! Masturbation is the act of sexually arousing oneself by touching the genitals. Medically it is believed that this is not considered abnormal especially as some children in early life explore themselves out of curiosity. Subsequently, it is thought to be a way for a person to figure out what he/she likes or does not like sexually etc. The stories that have been spread about masturbation: that it causes acne, madness, blindness, infertility etc really have no medical evidence.
Excessive masturbation can lead to soreness of the genitals and in males can lead to swelling which would typically disappear within a day or two. Enjoying sexual intercourse the ‘normal’ way may also become a problem as people become used to experiencing sexual release in this way.
By the way, if one is masturbating with another person, there is the possibility of an STI if objects (sex toys) are shared and/or if there is some exchange of body fluids.
It is generally thought that this act is wrong culturally and religiously. Medicine does not believe so. However, medicine, religion and culture find a meeting point when masturbation becomes ‘excessive’ (as in the post) such that the person involved withdraws from other people and activities, practices this in public, feels a compulsion to indulge in this often and on etc.
All the mails I’ve received on this issue, contain a common thread, that of feeling guilty. Some are also accompanied by a sense of low self-esteem which may have pre-dated this leading to excessive shyness and preference for masturbation, as opposed to talking to members of the opposite sex. The real challenge here is that there is nobody to talk to about these issues as we all tend to judge the people involved. The unfortunate fall out is that anxiety and depression may not be far behind if this cycle of guilt and low esteem is not addressed.
Any activity that holds one a prisoner of his/her desires has to be mastered. It has to be controlled otherwise, it rules the person’s life. Imagine being a slave to your sexual desires! :O And if this is accompanied by negative feelings like guilt, anxiety, depression etc, then it has to be decisively dealt with.
Counseling would be the way to go…I don’t know any of help groups here in Nigeria. I will make enquiries though. Or find someone who you feel you can trust and talk to. This person could be someone from home, church etc However, it’s important that people seeking help for any kind of issue, are not judged by anyone…from church or from other social circles. We all try to act as if we’re all holy and wonderful people but we all struggle with different stuff, just like every other person 🙂 Empathy is key here.
It is important to find out the why…what makes me want to do this again and again? What feeling am I trying to achieve? What am I trying to avoid? Indeed, going cold turkey and just deciding to stop could very well happen after this.
For a related post, please click on this post: https://chatwithdrketch.com/2014/08/05/daily-health-tips-depression-masturbation-and-over-protective-parenting/
I hope this helps.
Now that I’ve stirred the hornet’s nest, I’m off to bed 😀 Good night, y’all 😀